Medusa’s Lounge is my online home for all the nastier, snarkier, bitter, biting, bordering-on-malevolent thoughts that I have. It’s my version of virulent feminism. It’s the Dark Side of the Force. Except I do find some redemptive qualities about these impulses. Externalizing these thoughts and impulses, I’ve found, are essential for me to A) not be consumed by them and also B) gain the perspective of distance so I can better identify where these impulses come and C) tell when a virulent feminism is the size up those situations to which virulent feminism is the only satisfactory response.
Fuck, that’s still pretty reasonable and positive. IRL, I find myself acting painfully responsible and measured, but that’s the entirety of who I am. It’s like my friend used to tell me, What’s the point of going through the trouble of chopping a guy’s dick off if you’re just going to hit yourself in the face with it afterwards. Look, I wish the feelings of anger, revenge, resentment and guilt weren’t so strong or persistent. I wish I could wish for justice in criminal court instead of violent fantasies of retribution. I wish I could promote the best of society rather than dwell on its failures. I wish fewer men—no men—had physically and sexually violent impulses toward women. I wish they would stop being so dismissive toward women that they lose the capacity to treat us as people. I wish other men would stop seeing themselves as so worthless that they lash out at the women in their lives, verbally and physically, they can’t find anything other than themselves to blame. I wish they would stop controlling women with their suicide threats and degrading manipulations. I wish society would stop being complicit by ignoring, prolonging, dismissing, condoning, and minimizing the violence, abuse, outrage, and criminality of these acts. But I’m not exactly holding my breath if you know what I mean.
What am I doing? I’ll tell you that I know a lot of women who would say I’ve seen my fair share of grief and I know a lot of women for whom my experiences do not compare. Regardless, I’ve witnessed enough shit myself and through others, and I’ve experienced enough anger from people I care about that I feel the need to create this online persona, an alter ego, publicly presented but also anonymous from my normal circle of friends. Medusa’s Lounge is my sanctuary. All are welcome to visit and be part of the Lounge, but no apologies will be made.