We’ve all been there: A first date, sitting opposite some guy, having a fine conversation over a couple of beers. The conversation turns political, and the topic of feminism comes up. When asked if he’s a feminist, he answers, proudly: “Yeah, sure. I’m a nice guy and all, and I think it’s crazy that people don’t consider themselves to be feminists. I have a sister and mother, see, and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to them. By the way, did you know Hilary Clinton is a war criminal?” The fear starts to set in, and he senses your discomfort. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m not a republic or anything. I voted for Jill Stein. ” You leave the bar, pale and sweaty, as you hear him yell, “Females don’t like gentlemen anymore! All they want are douche bags!”
A male feminist walks into a bar… because it was set so low.
If you ever meet a self-proclaimed “nice guy,” run like hell. I’m serious, get out of there as soon as you can. Men who verbally proclaim “niceness” do so because they want to draw attention to their chivalry. In exchange, they likely believe that women owe them time and attention. When the illusion is shattered, the man slips back into the jerk they’ve always been.
The “nice guy” is, in essence, the “entitled guy.” Standing up for women’s rights doesn’t mean we owe them a conversation. Opening a door for a woman doesn’t mean she has to go on a date with him. If a person is truly kind, they will perform these activities without any expected reciprocation. If, however, he expects praise in any form for the simplest task, he’s a bad person in disguise. Get out.